Dating 101

Guest: Gabe Boyd

Dating 101 - let’s start having a conversation about the role and responsibility of young men and young ladies as they are looking at dating. Should a young lady wait for a guy to call…or is it ok in today’s culture for a young lady to pursue (call/text) a guy for a date? Should a couple wait to have sex until marriage…or is that just an outdated religious restriction?

Great resource for helpful information, especially for dads raising daughters: Hooked: The Brain Science on How Casual Sex Affects Human Development by Dr. Joe McIlhaney and Freda McKissic Bush - you NEED to know this information about how our bodies (emotions and chemicals) work!

The follow up to Hooked is a book called Girls Uncovered: New Research on What America’s Sexual Culture Does to Young Women - another valuable resource for both parents and young women to understand!

Some research suggests that when sex is introduced into a relationship, the emotional “depth” for that relationship is set - meaning, that if a couple has sex on the first date (or whenever it is introduced), their relationship will not grow emotionally deeper beyond that time. Great concept to think about and argument for waiting until marriage before having sex.

“Friend zone” - great place to start, being friends! Good and healthy relationships more than likely actually grow out of good friendships!

Sexual experience - we need to experiment so that we can prepare for our future marriage relationship - is that a good argument? Would you buy a car without a test drive? Depends on the car - I’d drive a Rolls Royce without a test drive!!! How do you view the girl that you’re dating - is she a Rolls Royce…or a clunker?

Whose responsibility is it to set the boundaries for the physical relationship? Gabe and I both agree that this is the responsibility of the man in the relationship! And, we also agree that healthy boundaries are VITAL to a healthy relationship - we see the value of boundaries in so many other aspects of life - think about sports, for example, and the importance of boundaries on a field that help define what is “fair” and what is “out of bounds.” As a man, you need to set proper boundaries for your relationships.

SnapChat - “the medium is the message” concept applies here. IF the message is so unimportant and irrelevant that it’s going to disappear after a few seconds, that speaks to the quality of the message (and probably the relationship) itself. The depth of your communication is a great indicator of the depth of the relationship! Guys, learn to have a meaningful, significant, deep conversation with a girl. Guys, the time, energy, and effort you put into good communication with a young lady demonstrates her value to you.

Take-Away: evaluate your “communication” with others - does it convey the quality that I think of that other person?