Pursuing Purity

Guest: Grayson Frank

 

Remember, if you “outkick your coverage” in finding a spouse, it means that she settled for someone “below” her - and that’s not a compliment to her!

 

Grayson - how, practically speaking, do I “find the girl”? Grayson’s recommendation - let your family and friends “set you up” with someone they believe will be a good fit for your life!

 

Is it possible (or even desirable) to remain a virgin before you get married? How important is “purity” before and during marriage?

 

Dallas is the #1 city in America for marital infidelity - how sad is that?!

 

How does a young man keep his way pure (Psalms 119:9)?

 

What would you say to a young man who is sexually active before marriage, but wants to find the “right one” and then thinks he’ll be monogamous in marriage? Grayson says that what you’ve started before marriage isn’t going to change once you get married…so be careful!

 

Dan - whenever you introduce sexual intimacy into a relationship, it acts as a “ceiling” for the emotional intimacy in that relationship. In other words, if you have sex on the first (second, third…) date, that’s the emotional depth of that relationship.

 

Grayson’s recommendations:

1. Sin festers in isolation - so build community and accountability!
2. Communicate your expectations clearly - set your boundaries at the beginning, before you involve the emotions!
3. Don’t be “horizontal” - be aware of how your bodies are positioned!
4. Don’t be alone past a certain time - walls come down when you’re tired.
5. “Tuck your phone in bed” - be careful, porn is looking for you and it will cost you more than you're willing to pay in terms of purity and relational security.
6. Physical intimacy in private can easily go too far - Grayson had a “don’t kiss” unless you’re in public to help guard their relationship!
7. Understand that physical intimacy escalates as a relationship continues or you move from one relationship to another - evaluate what level of physical intimacy you’re at and compare that with where you ought to be.
8. From a biblical perspective (as designed by God), sex is the defining connection for a marriage relationship - what God has joined together, it’s very difficult and damaging to separate!

 

When some say that you need to have sex before marriage to make sure the relationship works out, that doesn’t make sense if the quality of the person you’re wanting to be in a relationship with is a “Rolls Royce”!

 

Guys who don’t communicate well with a girl will use physical touch to make a connection - and don’t underestimate the power and connection of physical touch - check out Dr. Joe McIlhaney’s powerful and important book Hooked.

 

Guys, develop your communication skills so that you can engage in meaningful conversations with others, especially those of the opposite sex - this will help you navigate relationships where you desire to maintain a proper level of purity.

 

One more thing can lower your inhibitions and put you in a situation to compromise your purity in a relationship - alcohol. Alcohol doesn’t help you make good decisions - so be careful.

 

It’s better to be single wanting to be married…than married and wanting to be single.

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