Training4Manhood

Point Man Book Study (1 of 4)

Guests: Gabe Boyd and Michael Thornberry

 

Memorial Service Celebrating the Life and Legacy of Dr. Steven James Farrar

 

Point Man: How a Man Can Lead His Family (Revised & Updated Version) by Steve Farrar

 

Chapter 1 Point Man on Patrol

 

It is harder to lead a family than to rule a nation. Chinese Proverb

 

Dr. James Dobson - “I believe, with everything within me, that husbands hold the keys to the preservation of the family.”

 

Dan - every member of the family important - as MEN, we are responsible for being the leaders of our homes, the best husbands/fathers that we can be

 

The man’s job is to cultivate his family - the spiritual lives of your wife and children should be GROWING…

• Honest assessment - is your family better off spiritually because of the work that you’re investing into them…leading, modeling, praying, studying, etc…? Are you guiding your children toward success and prosperity in terms of God’s economy?

 

Chapter 2 Save The Boys

The First Principle of Fathering: Being There

 

Error increases with distance - if you are going to save the boys, you must start by being there.

 

Less Time = Less Influence

 

The Second Principle of Fathering: Teaching Them to ACT Like Men

 

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

Worship: God is Worthy and the World is Watching!

Guest: Ty Olsen

 

The last five Psalms (146-150) all begin with this verse: “Praise the Lord!”

 

Worship (singing in particular) is one of the graces that God uses to bless His children. The Psalms (songs in Scripture) were used by generations past to draw closer to God.

 

God’s grace in our lives demands something, a response - singing is one avenue to respond and show God’s worth (worship) to the watching world.

 

“Singing has a natural effect of joy in the heart. But so also, it has the power of rendering the heart joyful.”

William Law, A Serious Call to a Devout and Holy Life

 

Singing is both an act of worship and an act of discipline.

 

Clarification - the “Million Man March” in Washington, DC was a gathering of African American men on October 16, 1995. Promise Keepers had a different gathering in the nation’s capital at the National Mall that was much smaller on October 4, 1997.

 

The natural response of seeing something beautiful is expressing it…sharing it with others. If something is really compelling your heart, you aren’t fully experiencing it unless you’re telling somebody! The way we worship and the joy we experience is an incredible testimony to a watching world of our true understanding of God’s goodness.

 

Matthew 26:30 - And when they had sung a hymn, they went out to the Mount of Olives.

 

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

Learning to Listen to the Pain

Guest: Bruce Curran

 

Tough times are a part of every journey, but you do have a choice to make of what you’ll do with the pain - will you listen and learn from it, or numb the pain in an attempt to avoid the reality of it?

 

Jeremiah 29:13 says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Have you sought after God with all of your heart?

 

“Draw nigh to God and He will draw nigh to you,” is the good old King James Version of James 4:8, which is translated to “Come near to God and He will come near to you” in the New International Version.

 

Bruce: “I’m thankful for my cancer. It’s made me a different person, a better person; and a man madly in love with my God.”

 

Dan: Pain wasn’t just an indicator that something was wrong, but also as an opportunity to learn. Pain is a reminder that there is a better day coming - are you prepared for that day?

 

Are you in pain? Are you interested enough to stop numbing the pain and start learning from it? Will you seek the truth and not settle for anything less?

 

We have something similar in our lives to the TPMS on our cars - is your “check engine” light in your life going off…are you ignoring it? You ignore the pain in your life at your own peril.

 

Bruce: If you don’t deal with the pain in your life, you take it with you into everything that you do - your marriage, your parenting, your work, etc.

 

Physical pain - go see a doctor. Heart/emotional pain - go seek Godly counsel.

 

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

The Essence and Importance of SOUL Care in Your Life

Guest: Bruce Curran

 

Mentoring another person is a learning process - for both individuals! As you love Christ more and more, you can share that love with others - that’s the mentoring and discipleship process.

 

Family of origin is very important to the development of a person’s heart - how were you raised, what truths/lies were presented to you as normal, what were you taught, how were you trained - you have to dig deep into the heart issues so that you can wrestle with these ideas and move forward in life.

 

“Soul-care” is often ignored or overlooked, but is so important in your life - you take care of yourself physically…and now mental health wellbeing has been promoted…but what about the health and wellbeing of your soul…is that not as or ever more important?!

 

Love is the most powerful force in the entire universe - and Scripture says that “God is love” (1 John 4:8). If you’re willing to search for love, start with the Word of God…and ask God to reveal Himself to you - and then pay attention, look and listen for God’s communication to you about Himself and His love for you.

 

Happiness is generally based on your circumstances, JOY is the essence of the presence of God that is based on Him and not on you. Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit - and if you want the fruit of joy, you need to have yourself rooted in Christ.

 

Upon what are you building your home/life - on the convenience of this world or on the foundation of Jesus Christ - see the story that Jesus taught in Matthew 7 about this principle.

When the storms of life come, are you asking God what you’re supposed to learn from the trials and tribulations…or do you see yourself as a victim and look to blame others for your problems?

 

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

Taking God’s Word to the Entire World

Guest: Sir Duncan

 

Sir is on The Traveling Team - to financially support Sir, please go here.

 

What is The Traveling Team?

The Traveling Team has been stirring university students all over the country to rise up and join God in reaching the world for Jesus Christ. Think of us as a missions conference on wheels.

 

What is Kaleo?

Kaleo is an experience that provides college students with an exciting opportunity for developing in their leadership, character, and FAITH. Kaleo is hosted by Student Mobilization, whose mission is to build spiritual leaders for Christ from the college campuses of the world.

 

Sir’s mom helped mold and shape him from boyhood to manhood, but there were also other older men who spoke truth into his life, including Sir’s grandfather.

 

Guys, be careful that sports do not become an idol in your life - Sir’s reminder to young guys is that our passion for sports is a picture of our desire for something larger and more meaningful in life - and that is a relationship with God!

 

According to Wycliffe Global Alliance, 1.45 billion people, including 5,509 languages, do not have a full Bible in their first language. This includes people who have some Scripture as well as people who have none. It represents about 20 percent of the global population and 75 percent of the world’s languages.

If you get a chance to visit the Museum of the Bible in Washington, DC, please go - it’s an amazing journey into the history of God’s Word!

 

Sir’s recommendation - if you’re wrestling with who God is and what the Bible is all about…keep wrestling, reading, exploring!!!

 

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

Practical Principles for Progress in Life

Guest: Jason Illian

 

Difference between growing up going to church and having the church grow up in you. Difference between a church-goer and a disciple-maker.

 

What Jason is trying to teach his kids:

1. Be teachable. 1 Peter 5:5 - “Likewise, you who are younger, be subject to the elders.” Cultivate curiosity. Allow/encourage failure in the small things.
2. Be adaptable. John 3:8 - “The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit.”
3. Develop self-discipline.
4. Be a man of prayer.
5. God first. Matthew 6:33 - “Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” 

 

These are great attributes that should be a part of your life. If you didn’t have an older man mentor you and show you how to live out these concepts, you can start these on your own…and pass them along to your sons and daughters!

 

Learn the lesson of internal/external pressure from the submarine. As long as what is on the inside is more “powerful” than the pressure from the outside, you’ll be safe.

 

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

A Healthy and Helpful Perspective on Marriage

Guest: Grayson Frank

 

What is your definition of “marriage” - what’s the relationship intended for, why is it important, what should you be doing to work on your marriage? God’s definition of marriage is significantly different than the world’s, so be careful when you fall into the trap thinking about the purpose of marriage and you end up using a different definition and standard than God’s intent for the relationship that He designed!

 

The marriage relationship exposes the self-centered nature of each individual. Marriage is the anvil upon which God shapes you into the image of His Son. Powerful imagery.

 

Try to keep your expectations in line with reality - the difference between the two is the amount of frustration and anxiety that you’ll experience in life!

 

The only thing that can truly “fill” the void in your heart is God Himself. If you expect a person to “complete” you or “make you happy,” you’re going to be disappointed.

 

4 “A’s” of Divorce (things to guard against):

• Abuse
• Adultery
• Abandonment
• Apathy

Whatever you have leftover from the “work day” is what you take home and give to your wife and family - is that sufficient to sustain a healthy marriage relationship?

 

Is your wife “better” after being with you?

 

Saying that “my wife doesn’t make me happy” is asking the wrong question - you should be asking, “Do I make my wife happy?”

 

“Go to work, work hard. Go home, work hard. Go to bed tired.” Josh Smith, T4M episode.

 

When your marriage is bad, it’s like a black hole sucking the life out of everyone around you. When your marriage is good, it’s like a tree providing security and fruit for others.

 

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

Breaking the Painful Patterns of Your Past

Guest: Tyler Amburn

 

Tyler - alcoholics can tend to be emotionally immature. Something happens in their life that in some sense stunts their emotional growth and alcohol becomes their emotional coping mechanism.

 

Tyler - had the accountability, but as Jesus said in Matthew 26:41, “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” There has to be a power greater than yourself that you can rely on in times of weakness - AA talks about that “Higher Power” and we know that His name is Jesus!

 

Shoutout to Madison Michener with the Amarillo Livestock Auction for sharing the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ!

 

Every man needs another man…or a few of them…to mentor/disciple them in the faith and in life. Tyler’s list of older men include his grandfather (Pawpaw), Madison Michener, and J.D. Ferguson - who are the men in your life speaking truth into your life and calling you up to the man that God has created you to be?!

 

Tyler - wish I could go back and tell myself about the importance and power of forgiveness, letting go of past hurts and pains, and letting God heal those wounds.

 

Great resources to help you wrestle with those personal hurts in your life:

 

When People Are Big and God is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man by Edward Welch

 

The Bait of Satan: Living Free from the Deadly Trap of Offense by John Bevere

 

When you get to the point that you’re ready to forgive and release, your obedience is all that is necessary for your healing - the other person may not respond by admitting their fault or asking for forgiveness from you - Tyler, “it’s all about keeping your side of the street clean” - as Christians we know that God is the one who has cleaned our side of the street with His grace and we can extend that same grace and forgiveness to others, whether they “deserve” it or not!

 

Tyler - my biggest times of growth are when I’m surrounded by Godly men who can speak life and truth into my life - “get into their hip pocket” and “drop the pride.”

 

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

How Can I Be a Godly Success?

Guest: Dr. Connor Bales

 

Psalm 119:9-16

 

How can a young man keep his way pure (unstained, on track, moving toward success without hindrance)?

1. By guarding it according to your word. You need to filter everything through the lens of the Word of God - your life, relationships, emotions, attitudes, career, etc.
2. Go “ALL IN” with God. “With my whole heart I seek you.” A life with God through Christ is worth going “all in” for - giving your all to Him and letting Him guide and direct your steps. When we “bet” our lives on anything less than Jesus, we lose.
3. Study and learn God’s Word. “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”
4. Stay teachable (coachable). “Blessed are you, O Lord; teach me your statutes.” No greater source we can learn from than God’s Word.
5. Speak God’s truth. “With my lips I declare all the rules of your mouth.” Men speak truth. Period. Dangerous statement is “I think that…” - better statement is “God’s Word says this…”
6. Find your greatest joy in Jesus. “In the way of your testimonies I delight, as much as in all riches.” God is your transcendent source of joy and an “explosive happiness.” Do not look for your identity and joy in your accomplishments.
7. Give your thought life to God. “I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways.” What thoughts are you letting roll around in your mind? Social media is designed so that you don’t spend time thinking about one thing deeply.
8. Define genuine joy, seek after it, and don’t forget it when you get there. “I will delight in your statutes; I will not forget your word.” If Jesus is your joy, then seek after Him - what are the things that “give you more Jesus”? What is truly important to you - write it down, tell it to others (importance of community - not meant to be a reservoir, but a river of God’s blessings).

 

If your life is successful by the world’s standards, but not by God’s…your life is an eternal failure.

 

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

Questions You Should Be Asking

Guest: Michael Craven

 

Colson Fellows: Gain Wisdom, Live Faithfully, Act Courageously.

 

Alasdair MacIntyre - After Virtue: A Study in Moral Theory - “Before I can answer the question what am I to do, I must first answer the prior question what story or stories do I find myself a part.”

 

The “larger” picture in which you are a part of: Creation, Fall, Redemption, Restoration

 

4 Questions You Should Be Asking:

1. What is good in this world that I can preserve, protect, and promote?
2. What is missing in this world that I can innovate, create, or design?
3. What is evil in this world that I must stand against?
4. What is broken in this world that I can restore?

 

What is good in this world that I can preserve, protect, and promote? Marriage. Where do I start? With your own marriage!

 

What is evil that I can stand against? There are “larger” evils like abortion, but don’t forget about those “smaller” sins in your own life - what about gossip, gluttony, rudeness, etc.

 

What is broken in this world that I can restore? Without a biblical worldview, you won’t be able to see and understand how the world is supposed to function so you’ll miss those things that aren’t performing well or are broken and need to be fixed.

Ideas have consequences. Bad ideas have victims.

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.