22.7K
Downloads
210
Episodes
Guys, this is a podcast for males of all ages looking to understand what it means to be a man and live out those principles to the fullest.
Episodes
Friday Feb 17, 2023
Friday Feb 17, 2023
Guests: Tim Matthews and Jonathan Teague
Strange New World: How Thinkers and Activists Redefined Identity and Sparked the Sexual Revolution
By Carl R. Trueman
Strange New World is an abbreviated edition of Dr. Trueman’s longer book titled The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution
In this book, Dr. Trueman is going to examine how a person became a self, the self became sexualized, and sex became politicized.
Chapter 5 The Revolt of the Masses
Technology also reinforces the focus on the individual, and upon individual satisfactions.
To this we might add the observation of Yuval Levin concerning the reversal in the understanding of the purpose of institutions that characterizes our present age:
We have moved, roughly speaking, from thinking of institutions as molds that shape people’s character and habits towards seeing them as platforms that allow people to be themselves and to display themselves before a wider world.
We can express this more bluntly: institutions are no longer authoritative places of formation but of performance.
Dan - some parents see their role not as an authority figure, but as a facilitator to allow your children be whatever they want to be. Many people don’t regard science/biology as being authoritative in terms of gender and sexuality, just because a “doctor” says you’re a boy, doesn’t make you a boy - that’s the mindset of a growing group today!
Dan - difference between reforming institutions and rejecting institutions. If you reject these institutions, what do you replace them with?
To use a distinction deployed by philosopher Roger Scruton, pornography is about bodies, not faces. If sex is just about my pleasure, any body will do as a partner. But in a marriage, the specific identity of the sexual partners is critical. The purpose of sex is not to have sex but to make love, to reinforce a relationship with a particular person–or, to use Scruton’s terminology, with a face, not just with a body.
Chapter 6 Plastic People, Liquid World
“Contours of the MODERN SELF” - the emphasis on the authority of our inner feelings; the centrality of sexual desire to this; the way in which this is now a political and not merely a personal matter; and the various cultural and technological factors that have also served to promote this way of understanding the self.
Plastic people - those who believe they can make and remake themselves at will
Liquid world - to borrow a phrase from Karl Marx, all that is solid seems continually to melt into air.
This highlights the fact that human beings do not simply wish to be free. We also wish to belong, to be part of a group where we are accepted and affirmed.
Now we are free to choose the narrative to which we wish to belong, the imagined community that will provide us with our identity and purpose. We can focus on those narratives that make us feel good and that confirm our chosen view of the world and ignore those that present challenges to this.
Jonathan - if self is god, then my experience becomes my gospel
Modern American society is fragmenting because the imagined communities to which people choose to belong lack any shared narrative. Therefore, the terms of recognition that one group wishes to see American society adopt are often antithetical to those of others.
Monday Feb 13, 2023
Monday Feb 13, 2023
Guest: Mike Thornberry and Gabe Boyd
What is a good working definition of “love”? Mike has taken the definition given by Dr. Tim Kimmel (Grace Filled Marriage) and taught this to his boys:
Love is the commitment of my will to the betterment of your needs regardless of the cost to me.
What are some “other” definitions of love?
- Olaf (little snowman from the movie Frozen) - love means putting the needs of others ahead of your own.
- Jerry Maguire - “you complete me”
- Princess Bride - true love…Wesley - “As you wish…”
- “Love is never wasted, for its value does not rest upon reciprocity.” ― C.S. Lewis.
Gabe - love by its very nature has to be free. As soon as love becomes conditional, it’s no longer love.
Now concerning brotherly love you have no need for anyone to write to you, for you yourselves have been taught by God to love one another, for that indeed is what you are doing to all the brothers throughout Macedonia. But we urge you, brothers, to do this more and more…1 Thessalonians 4:9-10
Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
The Fruitful Life by Jerry Bridges - great adaptation of 1 Corinthians 13
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Friday Feb 10, 2023
Friday Feb 10, 2023
Guests: Tim Matthews and Jonathan Teague
Strange New World: How Thinkers and Activists Redefined Identity and Sparked the Sexual Revolution
By Carl R. Trueman
Strange New World is an abbreviated edition of Dr. Trueman’s longer book titled The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution
In this book, Dr. Trueman is going to examine how a person became a self, the self became sexualized, and sex became politicized.
Chapter 3 Prometheus Unbound
Dan’s comment: where/how did we get rid of objective truth (God as the standard for truth)?
Jonathan’s comment: these ideas are not thousands of years in the past - many of the ideas still popular today are heavily influenced by Marx and Nietzsche
Tim’s comment: these ideologies are not helpful, they are harmful!
Karl Marx
The foundation of irreligious criticism is: Man makes religion, religion does not make man.
Religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature, the heart of a heartless world and the soul of soulless conditions. It is the opium of the people.The abolition of religion as the illusory happiness of the people is the demand for their real happiness.
Religion is a sign of intellectual weakness in its adherents and a means of social oppression for its proponents. Further, freedom can be achieved only by the abolition of religion.
Friedrich Nietzsche
“Whither is God?” he cried: “I will tell you. We have killed him–you and I.”
God is dead.
Dan’s comment: If God is dead, then we are free from all moral constraints.
We might express Nietzsche’s thought this way: freed from the burden of being creatures of God, human beings must rise to the challenge of self-creation, of being whoever they choose to be. Put perhaps even more bluntly: be whoever or whatever works for you. You should feel no obligation to conform to the standards or criteria of anybody else.
Chapter 4 Sexualizing Psychology, Politicizing Sex
Tim’s comment: your sexuality, while important, is such a shallow measure of your total human existence and being.
…sexual desire has emerged in the last one hundred years as a primary category for understanding our identity. In biblical times or in ancient Greece, sex was regarded as something that human beings did; today it is considered to be something vital to who human beings are.
Sigmund Freud
First, the notion that sex is foundational to human happiness is central to Freud’s thinking.
So, seeking pleasure and avoiding pain are key to the definition of happiness. And where is the greatest pleasure to be found? Freud is in no doubt:
Man’s discovery that sexual (genital) love afforded him the strongest experiences of satisfaction and in fact provided him with the prototype of all happiness, must have suggested to him that he should continue to seek the satisfaction of happiness in his life along the path of sexual relations and that he should make genital erotism the central point of his life.
When we add to this that Freud also saw sexual desire as existing from infancy, the point is further reinforced: our identities as human beings are in a very important sense fundamentally defined by our sexual desires.
The fulfilled life is a sexually fulfilled life.
Wilhelm Reich
In plain English, the sexual morality of Reich’s day is designed to reinforce the structure and authority of the traditional family. The social function of the traditional family is to raise children who are instinctively obedient to a strong authoritarian (father) figure–in Reich’s eyes, a figure such as Hitler.
The point is clear: sexual codes must be shattered if human beings are to be truly free. Those things that inhibit the free sexual expression, even of young children, are oppressive and prevent individuals from truly being themselves.
Monday Feb 06, 2023
Monday Feb 06, 2023
Guest: Rob Wilton
Rob Wilton is a multi-city movement leader for Christ. He is the Founding Pastor of Vintage Church, Send City Missionary for the Send Network, and the Chaplain for the New Orleans Saints. Although his family is from South Africa, Rob was born and raised in New Orleans and this is where he met Jesus.
Guys, just thinking about some common “missteps” or mistakes that we can make along the journey of life…followed by common logic AND uncommon wisdom.
- Thinking you can travel the road alone
- Common logic - surround yourself with good people
- Uncommon wisdom - trust God with the direction of your life
- Even Jesus had “his guys” - Christian community is tremendously important, but don’t think that others “complete” you!
- The Bible is full of stories of really unimpressive men who followed a really impressive God. Guys, you don’t have to be everything or do everything, you need to humbly walk in obedience to God and follow His plan for your life!
- Underestimating the influence that others have in your life
- Common logic - you’re the average of your 5 closest friends
- Uncommon wisdom - God outweighs all the influence and wisdom of those around you if you’ll trust Him!
- Thinking less of yourself for your humble beginnings
- Common logic - doesn’t matter where you begin, it matters where you end…
- Uncommon wisdom - many times God uses where you began to give you insight into the journey where He’s taking you - don’t undervalue your start!
- One common theme throughout Scripture - God doing for us what we could not do for ourselves! You can’t, but Jesus did. Because Jesus did, now you can!
- God doesn’t need your ability, He wants your availability!
- Thinking too highly of yourself for particular gifts and talents you’ve been given
- Common logic - think less of yourself
- Uncommon wisdom - to whom much is given, much is required and expected - Luke 12:48
- Acts 9:31 - and walking in the fear of the Lord and comfort of the Holy Spirit, the church multiplied. Some may need to hear about the fear of the Lord and gain a little humility; others might need to hear how God is the lifter of our heads and walk in the comfort of the Holy Spirit - both are important!
- Thinking you’ll address spiritual issues later in life
- Common logic - take care of yourself first
- Uncommon wisdom - if it’s important, address it now…if it’s not important, don’t waste time with it!
- Every day is a gift, every opportunity has the potential to be something important for our growth and maturity…and God’s glory!
- Rob’s advice - “press in earlier” - don’t wait to develop your spiritual life, time is valuable, don’t waste it!
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Friday Feb 03, 2023
Friday Feb 03, 2023
Guests: Tim Matthews and Jonathan Teague
Strange New World: How Thinkers and Activists Redefined Identity and Sparked the Sexual Revolution
By Carl R. Trueman
Strange New World is an abbreviated edition of Dr. Trueman’s longer book titled The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self: Cultural Amnesia, Expressive Individualism, and the Road to Sexual Revolution
In this book, Dr. Trueman is going to examine how a person became a self, the self became sexualized, and sex became politicized.
The radical change that Dr. Trueman observes is that rather than conform thoughts, feelings, and actions to objective reality, man’s inner life itself becomes the source of truth.
Chapter 1 Welcome to This Strange New World
“Expressive individualism” was coined by the American scholar Robert Bellah, who defines it as follows:
- Expressive individualism holds that each person has a unique core of feeling and intuition that should unfold or be expressed if individuality is to be realized.
In short, the modern self is one where authenticity is achieved by acting outwardly in accordance with one’s inward feelings.
Great article and explanation from John Stonestreet at The Colson Center about the Philadelphia Flyers hockey player Ivan Provorov who refused to wear a jersey for the NHL’s “Pride Night.”
- Jonathan - who is the arbiter of what is “ok” - can’t be culture…left up to the individual themselves, which presents a huge problem when someone else’s opinion conflicts with yours.
- Tim - why aren’t the opinion and feelings of Ivan Provorov taken into consideration and protected as well?
In this book, I do not wish to deny that expressive individualism has aspects that are good and commendable. I am concerned, however, with how its triumph as the normative self has led to some of the strangest and, to many, most disturbing aspects of our modern world.
If the individual’s inner identity is defined by sexual desire, then he or she must be allowed to act out on that desire in order to be an authentic person.
Obviously, Western society still has sexual codes and places limits on sexual behavior - pedophilia, for example, continues to be outlawed in the United States - but those limits are increasingly defined not so much by the sex acts themselves as by the issue of whether the parties involved have consented to those acts.
Again, notice what the sexual revolution has done: it has brought us to the point where sexual acts in themseles are seen as having no intrinsic moral significance; it is the consent (or not) of those engaging in them that provides the moral framework.
Chapter 2 Romantic Roots
Rene Descartes (1596-1650) - “I think; therefore I am.”
Thinking is the ground of certainty.
Dan’s comment: God is no longer the source of truth; each individual person is!
Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712-1778) - First, he locates identity in the inner psychological life of the individual. Feelings for Rousseau are central to who we are. And second, he sees society (or perhaps better, culture) as exerting a corrupting influence on the self. In short, society makes us inauthentic.
Jonathan’s comment - while this might be profound, the problem is that it puts the brightest light on man, and makes man the center of existence…replacing God on the throne of life.
Rousseau rejects the Christian doctrine of original sin - it is society that corrupts the individual…
Dan’s question - if society corrupts the individual, what corrupted society? Isn’t society just the collected thoughts/wills of the various individuals - and if the individuals are good and pure, why wouldn’t the collective (society) be good and pure as well?
Everyone else is first and foremost a potential threat to my authenticity.
Rousseau - The Social Contract - Man is born free, yet everywhere he is in chains.
Rousseau’s “noble savage” - uncorrupted by the demands of civilized society with its hyprocrises and sharp antithesis between outward behavior and that inner voice of nature…
Tim’s comment - many of the restraints that society places on individuals is actually for our flourishing, for the benefit of all.
Monday Jan 30, 2023
Monday Jan 30, 2023
Guest: James Vilade
Founder, Keeper of The Game Foundation
Guys, just a quick reminder that our next book study begins this week; the first episode will be released on Friday, Feb. 3rd and then for the three remaining Fridays in February. The book we’ll be reading and discussing is Dr. Carl Trueman’s outstanding cultural examination titled Strange New World: How Thinkers and Activists Redefined Identity and Sparked the Sexual Revolution - get your copy today and read along with us!
Bio for Coach Vilade:
After finishing his successful college baseball career with Baylor University, James Vilade entered the world of coaching and has seen success at every level - from the pros to college and now even at the high school level. He understands that athletics is an avenue for success in life and takes his role and responsibility to mold boys into men very seriously, while having a ton of fun along the way! Coach V is not just a great baseball coach, he’s a great friend, and a great mentor for young men.
Coach V’s primary question for young guys - “What kind of person are you becoming along the way?” One of the main rules for life is how you treat those around you - learn to treat others well.
“Baseball is life” - would you buy that t-shirt?
Parenting fail - when the sport your child plays becomes more important than their character and the person they are becoming!
Common struggle for young men today - “handling the moment.” Don’t let the wins take you too high or the losses take you too low!
Men generally respond well to other guys calling them up to be better men - surround yourself with men who will do that for you…and you need to do that for others. “Show me your people and I’ll show you the man you’ll become.”
What’s the one thing you can tell a young man that will impact his life? “I love you.”
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Monday Jan 23, 2023
Monday Jan 23, 2023
Guest: Dr. Steven Lytle, PsyD, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, Founding Partner of Sparrow House Counseling
Dr. Steven Lytle is a licensed psychologist with Sparrow House Counseling in Dallas, Texas. He attended the University of Oklahoma where he received a B.A. in Psychology. He later graduated with an M.A. in Counseling Psychology from the University of Central Oklahoma. Dr. Lytle acquired his Doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Argosy University. Previously, Dr. Lytle worked as a therapist with Green Oaks Hospital in Dallas, Texas as well as counseling families through the juvenile probation department in Dallas County. Steven also served as clinical director of adolescent services at the Cedars Hospital in DeSoto, Texas. Additionally, Dr. Lytle was an adjunct professor of Psychology at Criswell College.
Therapy and counseling were for so long seen as a weakness, not a benefit, especially for men. Why is it so uncommon for men to seek help? Think about a guy in Home Depot - how often do men ask for assistance even with something simple like finding the right tool?
Men are more comfortable with the emotions of anger and stress. Stress is another way of saying “anxiety” but it is very different from anxiety. Stress is usually brought about by a “stressor” - a particular situation/event - and when that stressor is removed, then our stress level goes down. Anxiety can be brought about without an underlying situation. With anxiety, even when our situation is improved, we can feel anxious.
Guys - we need to consider how our “cup” is doing - are we filled too high and need to remove some things from our life - are there too many stressors or anxieties that are filling our cup?
Guys - important to consider how we train up guys to be the men that God has designed for them to be. Not to be carbon copies of their fathers, but to know and understand what God has designed for each individual.
Important to note that masculinity is a God-given concept, not limited to social constructs. Men can cook, sew, do laundry…and a host of things that many in our culture today do not view as things that “men do.”
Recent study had the astronomical number of men who live alone - isolated from community. Men in our culture value “independence,” but we are made for community and being alone and isolated is a difficult situation for an extended time period. Community - “your guys” - is not only valuable, it’s hard work to invest in relationships! Guys need “face-to-face” time, but it can be easier to start with “shoulder-to-shoulder” activities.
Train your boys how to have “face-to-face” conversations. It really is an important life skill - especially for building relationships. With the increasing use of mobile phones and technology, we all spend much less time with interpersonal communications.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Monday Jan 16, 2023
Monday Jan 16, 2023
Guest: David Salas
To learn more about the importance and influence of Martin Luther King, Jr., check out this book: Kennedy and King: The President, the Pastor, and the Battle Over Civil Rights by Steven Levingston
Some quotes from Martin Luther King, Jr.:
"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today."
"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy."
“The time is always right to do what is right.”
“Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.”
"Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?' "
David’s first “great man” - G.K. Chesterton, author, social commentator
Dan’s first “great man: - Charles Haddon Spurgeon, pastor, “Prince of Preachers”
Morning and Evening: A New Edition of the Classic Devotional Based on The Holy Bible, English Standard Version by Charles H. Spurgeon and Alistair Begg
David’s second “great man” - CT Studd, cricket player, missionary
The Chocolate Soldier: Heroism: The Lost Chord of Christianity (A Deeper Christian Classic) by C.T. Studd
Only one life, ’twill soon be past, Only what’s done for Christ will last.
Dan’s second “great man” - Dietrich Bonhoeffer, German pastor, stood in opposition to Hitler, author
The Cost of Discipleship by Bonhoeffer
When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Monday Jan 09, 2023
Monday Jan 09, 2023
Guest: Blair Robinson
Note - I didn’t “know Blair in high school” - just to clarify, Blair was in high school, I was already married and working - he’s much younger than I am!
Blair Robinson is the Lead Pastor of First Baptist Church of Irving beginning in May of 2022. Raised in the Dallas area, Blair is a graduate of Dallas Baptist University (B.S. in 2004; and M.Ed. in 2008) and Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary (M.A. in 2012; and D. Min. in 2019). Blair has previously served as the Discipleship Pastor of First Irving, and most recently as the Associate Pastor of Christ Covenant Church in Raleigh, N.C. His passion in ministry is to see the church consistently grow in grace as they delight in God. Blair and his wife Lauren have three children (Abel, Titus, and Abi Ruth). Blair enjoys time with his family and the members of First Irving, camping, hiking trails, reading helpful books, discipleship, sharing the faith, and the pastoral ministry.
Blair - a man must start with knowing that he is not God, he is a broken and wounded being IN NEED of God
The Bruised Reed by Richard Sibbes - you deserve death, anything less than that is the grace of God…I can’t believe that I get Christ AND water! Do you have this perspective…or do you see yourself as “worthy”?
Where should you start to gain a proper “life perspective” - by reading the Word of God!
To the man who believes that he has “it all” - Ecclesiastes tells you a different story - there is nothing “new under the sun” - it’s not about you, it’s about something GREATER than you that puts all of life into perspective!
For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corinthians 4:17-18
“When Christ calls a man, he bids him come and die.” - Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
Best advice for 2023 - sit and soak in the Word of God this year.
Blair - you have to start with the flaw of the “first” Adam, our physical father, before you can understand the importance of the “second” Adam, Jesus Christ, our Redeemer who connects us by his sacrifice to our Heavenly Father!
Blair’s book recommendation: The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by Jeremiah Burroughs
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.
Monday Jan 02, 2023
Monday Jan 02, 2023
Guest: Kelly Cassels
When Kelly’s parents’ marriage imploded, he harbored bitterness against his father and fed that hatred for 15 years! Kelly finally confronted the truth and reality of his unwillingness to forgive that resulted in this deep-seated bitterness on his Walk to Emmaus. The spiritual disciplines of silence and solitude are tremendously important for a person to “be still” and listen to the still small voice of the Lord! When will you schedule QUIET TIME with the Lord so that He can speak to you - today, this week, this year?
Kelly - part of the American psyche was that men couldn’t show weakness, he had to do things by himself - which isolates and insulates men from really dealing with deep and painful issues of the heart.
The Lord’s Prayer (Contemporary)
Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. Lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil. For the kingdom, the power, and the glory are yours now and forever. Amen.
Matthew 18 - the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant
Great Resource on the importance and power of forgiveness: The Bait of Satan: Living Free from the Deadly Trap of Offense by John Bevere
Kelly - thankful for a solid community of godly men who refused to let him live a life “mortgaged to the enemy” - we all need men who will speak truth into our lives regardless of the situation. This year, first seek to be that man in the life of those around you - then look to build a strong community of godly men to speak truth into your life as well.
T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.
Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro.