Training4Manhood

God’s Grace Can Break the Legacy of Addiction

Guest: Rick Briscoe

Instagram: @RickBriscoe

Hebron Road Facebook page

Hebron Road website

Rick grew up with a father who struggled with alcoholism. While his father was unable to properly mentor and lead Rick as a young man, God graciously brought other men across his path.

“I do believe, without Christ in my life, without the mentors who walked alongside me, I would have been an absolute disaster.”

Between Two Worlds: The Inner Life of Children of Divorce by Elizabeth Marquardt

“There’s another hero in my life and that’s my wife Barbi.”

“I was only going to love my dad, if he got better.” God convicted Rick that he was withholding grace and forgiveness from his father, but God had not withheld His own grace and forgiveness from Rick. Consider Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

Men, is there someone in your life that you need to forgive? Have you accepted the forgiveness of God through Jesus Christ in your own life? God's forgiveness can set you free from the chains and legacy of hardship and difficulty so you don't have to pass these things on to your kids and grandkids!

Men Live Under Authority

Guest: Neal Jeffrey

If I Can, Y-yyou Can! Giving All You’ve Got to Become All You Can Be (actual title) - great book about the life and testimony of Neal Jeffrey

From NealJeffrey.com:

NEAL JEFFREY, former All-American quarterback at Baylor University and quarterback for the San Diego Chargers, learned the meaning of overcoming early in life. A stutterer since childhood, Neal had to find a way to "get through what he couldn't get over" to achieve his lifelong dreams. Today, he is one of America's most powerful and passionate communicators, speaking for corporate conferences, national conventions, sales organizations, sports teams – twice for the New York Yankees – school districts, student groups and churches from coast to coast. Everywhere he goes he inspires audiences to go "higher, swifter, stronger" in the critical areas of life. In addition to a busy speaking schedule, Neal serves as a speaking/teaching minister at the 28,000-member Prestonwood Church of Dallas, Texas, where he has served for over 25 years. He and his wife Sheila live in the Dallas area and have three grown children. His new book, If I Can, Y-Y-You Can! is available nationwide and at info@nealjeffrey.com

We live in a world where nobody wants to live under authority.

Truth is, if I’m left up to myself, it’s not going to be good. I’m self-serving. I have appetites that can lead me to a place where the world says you ought to go, but if you go there, it’s going to be a disaster!

How do you learn to live under authority? It helps to have an older man model living under proper authority. For some, it may be their biological father. Others might see this and learn these principles from a good coach. For everyone, learning how to live under authority from God’s Word is available.

It is valuable to learn to live under authority before you are placed in a position of authority.

Living under the authority of God means that you say “Yes, sir” to whatever God has for you. You can trust the goodness and plan of God for your life - and you can find out more about God’s will for your life by spending time reading God’s Word.

To read more about the faith of the centurion, read the passage found in Matthew 8:5-13.

One of the greatest ways that a man can honor God is to honor his wife, to cherish her, to love and care for and provide for her. You have an authority in heaven that you will answer to.

Men, you need to have others around you that you will listen to as you make important decisions in life. We all need someone that we allow to hold us accountable, to speak truth into our lives, to “slap us upside the head” and bring a sense of clarity to a situation.

What about the guy who has been under “bad” authority? God isn’t a bad authority, but a loving and perfect authority. God can help you forgive and move past the experiences of bad authority by the power of His grace.

Compare the self-sacrificing example of Jesus to the self-serving actions of others. Jesus led by serving others, even the “least of these.” That’s an “authority” that you can place your trust in and delight in.

Two take-aways:

1. If you’re not under authority, you need to consider coming under the loving authority of God.
2. If you’re in a position of authority, are you using your position and power in a self-serving fashion or are you leading by example, serving others, working to make those around you better?

God Can Use YOU!

Guest: Neal Jeffrey     

If I Can, Y-yyou Can! Giving All You’ve Got to Become All You Can Be (actual book title) - great book about the life and testimony of Neal Jeffrey

From NealJeffrey.com:

NEAL JEFFREY, former All-American quarterback at Baylor University and quarterback for the San Diego Chargers, learned the meaning of overcoming early in life. A stutterer since childhood, Neal had to find a way to "get through what he couldn't get over" to achieve his lifelong dreams. Today, he is one of America's most powerful and passionate communicators, speaking for corporate conferences, national conventions, sales organizations, sports teams – twice for the New York Yankees – school districts, student groups and churches from coast to coast. Everywhere he goes he inspires audiences to go "higher, swifter, stronger" in the critical areas of life. In addition to a busy speaking schedule, Neal serves as a speaking/teaching minister at the 28,000-member Prestonwood Church of Dallas, Texas, where he has served for over 25 years. He and his wife Sheila live in the Dallas area and have three grown children. His new book, If I Can, Y-Y-You Can! is available nationwide and at info@nealjeffrey.com

God loves you and CAN use you…and He can use your weaknesses for His glory!

What things are in your life that you struggle to trust God with?

The encouraging words of Neal’s mom - I don’t know why, but I just know that God loves you and God is going to use this in your life in some incredible way…we just need to trust Him.

Life Lesson from Neal - the life of comparison is a losing game. If you aren’t confident with who God has made you to be,  you’ll never fully know all that God has planned and prepared for YOU! Don’t waste your time looking at everyone else, wanting to be someone else; spend your time getting to know the God that made you, crafted you, created you - the more you know about Him, the more you’ll know about His plans for your life.

Neal’s wisdom for struggles in life - “Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” James 1:2-4

YOU are God’s “masterpiece” - “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10

Life Lesson from Neal - we often see ourselves through a negative lens, while others often don’t focus on our negatives as much as we do!

Life Lesson from Neal - my “main assignment” in life is to “love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Matthew 22:37

God has a plan for everything…including YOU!

Understanding the Dobbs Decision

Guest: Ryan Bangert, Alliance Defending Freedom

Happy July 4th! On July 4th, Americans celebrate the passage of the Declaration of Independence, which reads in part:

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Recently, the Supreme Court of the United States (SCOTUS) handed down a monumental decision in the Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization (Dobbs) case that effectively overturned the infamous 1973 Roe v. Wade decision where the Court had found a woman’s right to an abortion was a Constitutionally protected right. Overturning Roe means that the “right to an abortion” is now no longer secured by the federal courts and is subject to the determination of the governed - just as the Framers had intended our governmental process to work. So whether you’re “pro-abortion” or “pro-life,” Dobbs returns the power to influence the legislative process back to the citizens of each state to decide through their elected representatives, a right which the Court had usurped from citizens in the Roe decision.

As men, what does the Dobbs decision mean?

• A large percentage of women seeking abortions are single women who already have other children, but because of financial or other considerations, feel that they are unable to support another child. Men should be part of this consideration and equation and not leave the burden and responsibility to raise children entirely on the shoulders of the mothers of their children. Before abortion becomes a legislative or legal issue, it is a personal responsibility issue and men need to be personally responsible for their children.

• Women facing the decision over abortion or birth are looking for wisdom and guidance and men have an opportunity to support pregnancy centers in their community to give women the needed support to choose life. If you’re in the DFW area, look to support the Prestonwood Pregnancy Center. If you live in other areas of the country, visit the resource list made available from The Heidi Group. The Human Coalition is also a great organization to know about and support.

• As more women look to give birth to their children, there may be an increased opportunity for men to step up in terms of adoption and foster care. Even if you’re not looking to bring a child into your family, you can support others who are willing. Learn more from CHOSEN: Christ’s Hope for Orphans: Supporting, Embracing, Nurturing.

• Don’t forget about post-abortive resources for women struggling with the trauma and anxiety that often comes from having an abortion. Check out the resources available from Focus on the Family for post-abortive care.

 

Men Take Care of Their Vehicles

Guest: Warren Craft, Frisco Automotive

Frisco Automotive & Transmission

6623 W Main St, Frisco, TX 75034

972-335-9823

Open M-F, 7:30 am - 6:00 pm

Standard items to maintain - change your engine oil on a regular basis (according to your owner’s manual), keep your tire pressure correct, check your belts and fluids to make sure they look good (under the hood), and change your air filters on a regular basis.

Warren’s recommended vehicles:

Honda, Toyota, Nissan - excellent sedans/family cars

Chevy, Ford, GMC  - excellent trucks

Warren’s warning about cars that are more expensive to maintain:

Volvo, Audi - and all German-made vehicles (Mercedes-Benz, VW, BMW)

Timing chain - shouldn’t have to ever replace! Timing belt - make sure you are watching for wear and change when needed

Transmission - fluid should be changed on a regular basis. Warren says that if it hasn’t been serviced in a long time, you might be better off just leaving it alone and driving it for as long as you can!

Looking for a good automotive repair shop where you live, visit the AAA Approved Auto Repair Facility Locator!

Warranty - be careful when buying a used car - Warren recommends getting an extended warranty if it’s from the auto manufacturer - not the “after-market” warranty. Warren says that you can take a vehicle to an automotive shop, like Frisco Automotive, and not violate the warranty - that’s something for you to verify.

Warren says that if you purchase a vehicle from a place like Carvana, where you can buy it online without seeing/driving it first, make sure you take that car into a place like Frisco Automotive and get it checked out - apparently Carvana will let you return it within the first six days.

Men Think Before They Speak

Guests: Parker Panetti and Nathan Litwiller

Proverbs 18:21 - Death and life are in the power of the tongue.

Matthew 12:34 - Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.

Parker - thinking before you speak can be difficult because we don’t see immediate consequences or have immediate ramifications for what we say to others!

James 1:19 - Be quick to listen, slow to speak…

Dan - we’ve lost the respect for the weight of another person’s words…because most people don’t put much thought and effort into saying words that have meaning and significance.

Parker - Thinking before you speak means that you have to put thought into what goes into heart and mind before you open your mouth - not just at the specific moment.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear. Ephesians 4:29

Parker - think of two ponds, one salt water and one fresh water. The fish in the pond that you feed will grow, the fish in the pond that you ignore will die. What are you feeding in your life - good things or corrupt things?

Dan - you are consumers of ideas and concepts - we make choices everyday to fill our hearts and minds with positive, quality, life-affirming words and ideas - or to fill our hearts and minds with the negativity of this world.

Parker - three men you need in your life:
Older, wiser man to speak truth into your life and set an example for you to follow
Guys your age that you do life together who build you up and challenge you
Younger guys that you are training and encouraging in their walk

The Word of God should be your primary source for truth and encouragement - then add the influence of other men on your journey.

Nate - men need to step up and hold each other accountable for what they say

Parker - important to balance grace and truth when you speak. Humility is crucial to be able to do this well. How do you develop humility? Spend time with God.

Nate - integrity means that you need to be consistent with your words. Everyone will give an account for each word - Matthew 12:36

Men Think Before They Drink

Guests: Parker Panetti and Nathan Litwiller

Have you ever considered why you drink alcohol? Some people may wrestle with the issue of drinking before the legal age of 21, but not too many people question the concept of not drinking at all.

Parker - people ask him why he doesn’t drink. His reply - why do you drink? This is a question that people should be wrestling with.

Nate - T4M is all about learning how to make these difficult decisions regardless of what others are or aren’t doing.

Dan - in talking to seniors in high school, one student gave me a “good” reason why they were going to drink in college - he said, “I don’t like who I am…alcohol allows me to be somebody different.” Think about that concept - not liking yourself is not a good reason to do anything!

Parker - alcohol can be a delay of manhood - it pushes off the idea of responsibility.

Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial. 1 Corinthians 10:23

Have you seen alcohol make someone a better person?

Nate - I never made a wise decision under the influence of alcohol.

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:17

Be sober-minded. The decisions you make are important and have real consequences. Why would you want something that impairs your decision-making process?

Parker - don’t plan to accidentally fail. Your job is to not only protect yourself, but also those around you - especially if you’re responsible for the safety and well-being of a young lady.

Think about this - what percentage of sexual assaults include the use of alcohol? Take away the influence of alcohol and your ability to make good decisions increases dramatically!

Older guys - you’re setting an example for others to follow. Do you think that alcohol is a benefit to your life and something that you want to pass on to your children?

AW Tozer - “The church will be at the height of its heresy when it calls obedience legalism.”

Men Are Generous

Guest: Matthew Snyder

Ownership vs. Stewardship principle - how do you understand the money that you earn/have?

A man needs to be generous - with their time, talents, and treasure. A mark of a man is that he gives to those in need from what has been given to him.

Giving is the expectation - but not just giving from a concept of scarcity, but from the idea of generosity! What is my motivation in doing what I do?

“Vacation” - what are you doing with “your” time - what if you rethink your time away from work and look to invest it into those in need?

Plan to give a greater percentage of your income every year…

Generosity begets generosity - when people see others who are generous, they want to be a part of it as well!

Keep your eyes open - look for opportunities to give to the needs of others!

The concept of generosity is connected to humility.

Parable of the Rich Young Ruler - Matthew 19:16-22

Going through “challenging” times is helpful with the development of a generous heart.

Being around people who are in a different economic position than you can help you develop a better perspective on giving and generosity.

Generosity isn’t an amount, it’s a heart attitude.

A Man and His Money

Guest: Matthew Snyder

Andrew Carnegie - “The almighty dollar bequeathed to a child is an almighty curse. No man has the right to handicap his son with such a burden as great wealth. He must face this question squarely: Will my fortune be safe with my boy and will my boy be safe with my fortune?”

First principle - ownership. Am I the owner of my money - or is money, and the ability to make money, a gift from God? How you answer this question will direct the way that you understand the concept of money!

James 1:17 - Whatever is good and perfect is a gift coming down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens.

“Stewardship” - the idea that you are not the owner, but you are responsible for the management of something. ALL that you have has been given to you - your time, your talents, your treasure - and you are responsible for the management of every aspect of your life.

Managing Your Money:

1. Giving
2. Saving
3. Investing
4. Spending

Giving - you need to plan your giving - setting aside a percentage of your income to give to others - your church, the needs of others, a cause you find important, etc. Matthew has made a commitment to give away an increasing percentage of their income year after year!

Saving - there is saving for the long-term and saving for emergencies in the short term. The more you save early, that money builds and compounds over time!

Investing - it takes money to make money. Look for opportunities to use your money to invest into the development of industries that make money. You can be aggressive or conservative with those investments - basic principle: don’t put all your investment “eggs” in one basket - important to diversify your investments.

Spending - using the resources that the Lord has blessed you with to enjoy life - if you like shoes, buy shoes…if you like drinking coffee, buy coffee - but be wise in how you spend your money and don’t let your money and the things that you buy control your life!

Debt - the basic principle is to work to LIMIT debt. Three things to pay attention to:

• Credit cards - pay these off first, highest interest rate. Look at credit cards like cash.
• College loans - pay these off next to get “debt-free” so that you can look to purchase some of those bigger ticket items.
• Cars - be careful not to spend too much money on a car as a status symbol!

Delayed gratification - you don’t always have to have everything you want right when you want it - save up for things, delay that gratification until you can afford it.

Make sure you have conversations about money, finances, etc. if you’re in a relationship with another person to make sure you’re both on the same page!

God’s Investment Strategy: Buy WISDOM

GUEST: Will May

Wisdom comes with age and experience…but, get wisdom as young and quickly as possible!

Proverbs 23:23 - Buy wisdom (truth) and never sell it.

Billy Graham - knowledge is horizontal (something you can get from others), wisdom is vertical (something drawn down from God).

Proverbs 1:7 - The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

Will - major struggle for man is pride, self-reliance. Wisdom is the recognition that you need help, that you don’t know what’s best! The fear of the Lord means that you take what God says about you, life, etc…and begin your understanding there, not with your own experience.

Proverbs 3:5-6 - Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths (or make your paths straight).

To gain wisdom, start with the fear of the Lord, then what?

• Pursue relationships with other godly men (think older men) whom you can learn from
• Develop real accountability and discipleship in your life

Find people who are “successful” and learn from them - contact them, set up an appointment, take a notebook and pen, ask intelligent questions.

Non-biblical, but practical “proverbs”:

• Most people listen, few people execute, champions make habits
• Aristotle - we are what we repeatedly do, excellence therefore is not a single act but a habit
• Evaluation - it’s not always wise to judge a person by one particular situation, there are times it is wise to consider a broader perspective
• Do it right, do it light; do it wrong, do it long. Shortcuts are many times a “longer” way and the least effective and efficient path! Don’t take “shortcuts” on things that are really important for your development! Know the difference between efficiency and laziness!
• Don’t complicate a ham sandwich - keep it simple, stupid. Touch it once - can you just get it done instead of complicating it? 

Wisdom - the art of taking something complex and making it simple. Don’t complicate things - don’t take simple things and make them more complex!

Alistair Begg - Proverbs is godliness in working clothes.