Training4Manhood

THE Greatest Man

Guest: David Salas 

Salas - didn’t have a father-figure - now reading Proverbs, the phrase, “My son” takes on new meaning and significance…

What’s the one role of a father? To point them to their heavenly Father. All the lesser things are important, but the greatest thing is to help them satisfy their greatest need - to know who they are as an image bearer of God.

Thomas Watson - great men are the mirror by which ordinary men dress themselves!

If you made a list of the “greatest men in history” - who would make that list? Would Jesus? That’s an interesting question!

Salas - Jesus really “mans like a man should man”!

Do we consider Jesus a “great man”? We should - here’s why we should recognize Jesus as THE GREATEST MAN:

1. Meekness - strength under control - you never get the sense that Jesus was anything but in control
2. Never sinned - only man to fully withstand temptation
3. Elevated the status of women - traveled with him, financed his ministry, woman at the well (talked to her, first person he told that he was the Messiah), woman caught in adultery (went down to her level, raised her to his level)
4. Teaching on marriage
5. Incredible balance between courage and conviction, strength and surrender 
6. Came not to be served, but to serve
7. Spoke truth to others
8. Suffered joyfully

The Chosen - great series from Dallas Jenkins on the life and “manhood” of Jesus

 

A Woman Caught in Adultery - John 8:1-11

Jesus returned to the Mount of Olives, 2 but early the next morning he was back again at the Temple. A crowd soon gathered, and he sat down and taught them. 3 As he was speaking, the teachers of religious law and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in the act of adultery. They put her in front of the crowd. 4 “Teacher,” they said to Jesus, “this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 The law of Moses says to stone her. What do you say?”

6 They were trying to trap him into saying something they could use against him, but Jesus stooped down and wrote in the dust with his finger. 7 They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, “All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!” 8 Then he stooped down again and wrote in the dust. 9 When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest, until only Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. 10 Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, “Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?” 11 “No, Lord,” she said. And Jesus said, “Neither do I. Go and sin no more.”

IF you had to choose between your children being wealthy, healthy or walking in the truth - which would you select and what are you doing to train your children in that concept?

Take-away: spend some time examining the person and life of Jesus - read the Gospel letters of Matthew, Mark, Luke and John in the New Testament, and then, if you want to see a cinematic rendition of Jesus, watch The Chosen.

The Power of Forgiveness

Guest: Pastor Jarrett Stephens 

Champion Forest Baptist Church 

Jarrett’s books:

The Mountains Are Calling: Making the Climb for a Clearer View of God and Ourselves

The Always God: He Hasn’t Changed and You Are Not Forgotten

Forgiveness:

1. Learning how to ask for forgiveness when you’ve wronged someone
2. Learning how to forgive when you’ve been wronged

Forgiveness does not mean that justice should not be pursued and served.

Forgiveness does not mean that you forget. Forgiveness does not mean that a relationship is restored.

Unforgiveness can lead to resentment and anger, it can become bitterness and a stronghold in a person’s life that keeps them from moving forward in life.

The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant - Matthew 18:21-35

Can you forgive a person who doesn’t even ask for forgiveness, isn’t repentant, or doesn’t even acknowledge? Yes. Ephesians 4:32 - Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Good resources:

1. The Bait of Satan by John Bevere
2. When People are BIG and God is small by Edward Welch

How to seek forgiveness from someone who you have wronged:

1. Do it as quickly as possible. Confrontation is an opportunity for growth.
2. Go to the individual in a spirit of humility.
3. Apologize - be specific.
4. Ask for forgiveness.
5. Model Jesus. He is our ultimate example.

Men Go to Church

Guest: Pastor Jarrett Stephens 

Champion Forest Baptist Church

Jarrett’s books:

The Mountains Are Calling: Making the Climb for a Clearer View of God and Ourselves

The Always God: He Hasn’t Changed and You Are Not Forgotten

Why should a man go to church?

First, don’t discount the person and message of Jesus Christ because of something that happened to you or something you’ve seen or heard from those who are followers (real or self-proclaimed) of Jesus.

Second, the church is one of the only places (ecosystem, if you will) that you’ll find humility, authenticity, and people who truly want the best for your life. The church is one of the only places that celebrates “servant-leadership” and not “self-centeredness.”

Third, the church is the epitome of diversity - in today’s world where “diversity” is celebrated and pursued, the church really is the fulfillment of unity through diversity - all walks of life, all ages, all cultures, colors, skills, abilities - all part of the body of Christ!

What should I look for in a church?

First, start with the core components evident in the Book of Acts. Biblical teaching - have to have an authoritative source. The church should point people to the person of Jesus.  The church should be Scripture filled, Jesus centered, Holy Spirit inspired.

Second, look for a Biblical community, a place where your family can get plugged into, etc.

Third, things that give you pause. Jarrett - “blessed are the balanced.” Look out for an imbalance that focuses too much time and energy toward one component to the detriment of others. Try to find a church that’s “balanced.”

Recent study - 90% of men say they have never heard a sermon that related to work. 

Jarrett - men, at some point, we have to learn to be “self-feeders.” You can’t just settle for someone else opening up and teaching from the Word - YOU need to dig in and see what the Word has for you. Train yourself for godliness. Men are passionate about things that are important to them - are you passionate about your spiritual life and growth?

Recent study - if the husband/father of the family goes to church, the family is 90% more likely to attend. Men, your example leads your family spiritually - either for the good or for the bad! Jarrett - as a dad, it’s my responsibility to put my family in a positive place for their growth and development.

Take-away: Find a good church. Don’t sit in the stands of life, get in the game. You get out of something what you put into it.

 

Men and Sexuality

Guest: Ricky Chelette

Living Hope Ministries - livehope.org

For Valentine’s Day - no better topic than “sexuality”!!!

“Sexual Brokenness” - what is it, what to do about it?

Scripture tells us that we are all born into sin, all “broken” or “bent” away from God’s design in so many different ways! If our desires do not match up with God’s design, we have to subject our personal desires to God’s design if we want to be happy and holy!

Ricky - what do you believe about who you are and how you got here? Do you believe that you are only a group of cells brought together by random chance or an accident - or do you believe that you are a created, designed being - and that there is a Creator/Designer of all existence? 

Men and women are both created by God and have different roles and responsibilities - not less than or greater than, but different. To choose to not follow God’s design is to invite death, decay, and distance into your life and relationships.

How do I move from broken to better? Wrong question - we don’t move from broken to better by “doing.” We move from broken to better by “being.” The ultimate question really is: Who am I? When we know who we truly are and act in accordance with that true nature, we walk in authenticity to God’s design and protection.

Ricky - if you had a sister and she was going to marry a guy - who do you want that guy to be? That’s the guy that you ultimately know YOU need to be!

Ok - I get it, I see who I want to be - now what?

Ricky - you have to be:

• a “man of the Word” - that’s how God communicates to us, through His Word - to know how to do life well, you need to know the framework and narrative of God’s design and desires for our lives
• a person of integrity - the same person by myself, with a crowd, with a girl, at work, at play, etc…

It all starts with knowing God and knowing who He has created you to be.

Start with God’s Word. There is no alternative game plan.

Ricky - sex really isn’t about sex. It’s generally about connection, relationship, control, intimacy, power, etc. When you pursue “sex” as a act, you end up tired, frustrated, and empty. Be careful that if you pursue the fulfillment of your “sexual appetite,” you won’t fulfill what you really want!

Take-away: sexuality isn’t about doing, it’s about being. What kind of person do you want to be? You need to answer this question first.

 

What Kind of Car Does a Man Drive?

Guest: Gabe Boyd

What’s your decision-making process? Why do you do what you do? What do you value?

• My own personal comfort
• What others think about me
• Status symbol
• Gas mileage, cost
• Something useful for others

Key concepts to consider:

1. Stewardship - affordability, best use of resources, etc..
2. What is the vehicle used for - you, others, etc…?
3. How do you treat the vehicle - better than you do people?

The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch - WATCH this video of Professor Randy Pausch as he shares some great life principles that he gives as his “last lecture.” Or READ the book - almost as good as the video.

The car you drive tells me something about what you VALUE. What questions are you asking in determining what car you drive - and how are you answering those questions?!

Question: can a “man” drive a minivan? YES! Stewardship is also part of the equation. Don’t let your pride determine the car that you drive.

Question: if money is “no object” what car do I drive then? The car still tells others what you value - and it models for your kids what is important as well. And, money is ALWAYS an object because you always have to make a priority judgment about where you’re spending what God has given you - stewardship is important no matter how much money you make.

This episode is NOT about the car. We make about 35,000 decisions every day. HOW are you making these decisions, what is the anchor that ground you, what is the rudder that guides you?

Question: if Jesus were living in your city today, doing your job, having your family, what car would He drive? 

Take-away: Evaluate your decision-making process - what do my decisions say about me?

What is a Friend?

Guest: Gabe Boyd

True friendship is a plant of slow growth, and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity, before it is entitled to the appellation. George Washington

There can be a difference between a “friend” and a co-worker, teammate, classmate, neighbor, even a family member. 

“Friend” gets thrown around so casually - “Facebook friends” are not truly friends. How many “friends” do you really have?

What does it mean for a person to be a friend?

1. Someone who seeks or has your best interest at heart
2. Someone who is willing to undergo adversity or conflict with or for you
3. Someone you can trust, count on, rely on
4. Would you add anything else to the list?

God made men to be relational. You’re not supposed to or created to do life alone.

The Bible speaks about friendship. Loyalty is an important aspect of friendship. A friend is a person who is consistently walking through life with you. Examine the friendship of David and Jonathan - great study of God’s Word on this subject.

Inhibitors to true friendship - pride, isolation, self-centeredness.

Proverbs 18:24 - A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

A friend doesn’t always tell you “what you want to hear.” A friend will speak truth, even when it might hurt. A friend is someone who has earned the right to tell you what you need to hear.

How do I develop good friendships?

1. Prioritizing quality friendships - shoulder-to-shoulder activities. There are face-to-face activities, talking. There are also shoulder-to-shoulder activities - hunting, fishing, building a home, going to a game, whatever - not just doing the activity, but using the experience to build a relationship. 
2. Be a friend first. Go be a friend to a person and be counted as a friend for another person, then look for those who are friends to you. Friendship is not always a two-way street - you might be a friend to someone who is not a friend to you and vice versa. Start by being a friend - that’s something you can control.

Proverbs 19:4 - Wealth makes many friends, but the poor is separated from his friend.

Are the people around you truly friends or people who just want something from you.

Game Plan - go be a friend to someone this week.

Men are Observant

Guest: Gabe Boyd

Men shouldn’t be oblivious, they need to be observant, aware of their surroundings, their position in the world - you are not the center of the universe and everyone else is just revolving around you!!!

Maturity - children see themselves at the center of life, they are “me-centered” - when is that supposed to change, when are we supposed to mature to an “other-centered” world (or even better, a “God-centered” world) where we play an important role in a story that is much larger than ourselves.

Psalm 144:12 - how do you know when God has blessed a nation? David says that your boys will be like well-nurtured plants and your girls will be like pillars carved to adorn a palace. Your young boys will begin to mature - bear fruit - not be a wild, untamed plant that just runs wild. David never said “no” to Adonijah - and Adonijah turned out to be spoiled!

Maturity from boyhood to manhood - walking into a room and having the ability to see a need before you are asked. Boys look for things that affect them, men look for things that affect others.

Do you look for ways to put others first? Do you look for ways to serve others? Are you proactive about making opportunities?

The answer is always “yes.” What’s the question?

Psalm 125 - children are described as arrows in the hands of a warrior. A warrior first shapes those arrows. Men “speak” things into existence, we call things by their name. A warrior next sharpens those arrows. People around us should be better because of our presence. A warrior finally shoots out those arrows into the world. So many young men do not have a “warrior” to shape, sharpen, and then send them out into the world!

Observant - where are the young men around me that need to be trained, discipled, mentored by my life experience, the wisdom God’s given me. The world is better when men act like men - it’s better for society as a whole. How can you help in this process?

Men walk into a room slowly - look around, assess the situation, be aware, pay attention, then engage in action to make the situation better. Self-assessment: how do others feel about you when you walk into a room?

Statistic: more than 20 million children live in a home without the physical presence of a father. One in three American children are growing up in a home without their biological father.

Men, pay attention to this reality - look for opportunities to invest in the lives of younger guys who need an older man to provide wisdom and guidance.

Connect with me at info@training4manhood.com

Finding a Great Spouse

Guest: Bryce Hopson

One of the most important decisions a man will ever make (besides the faith commitment to follow Christ) is the connection of your life with another human being - finding a great spouse to journey through life together is such an important decision - join my friend Bryce Hopson as we talk through this decision - how to make it, what it means, how to navigate the world’s perspective on marriage - all important things for every man to consider and contemplate.

Bryce - importance of “burning the ships” - a reference to the story of Hernan Cortes burning the ships as he and his men arrived in the New World making the point that there was no “going back” - they were either going to be successful in this new land or they were going to die trying! Bryce suggests that each person adopt this mindset going into the marriage union - the idea that divorce isn’t an option will help each individual have to work through some difficult seasons of marriage and life.

Bryce - if you keep a “piece” of yourself separate from your spouse, that piece becomes something different - and can grow into a major problem in your marriage

Bryce - importance of “real communication” - and don’t buy into the idea that marriage counseling isn’t going to help - if you need help, get help!

Good resources:

Love & Respect by Emerson Eggerichs

Marriage by Paul David Tripp

 

Podchaser: F3UPtUuXfOnHl1lAmvm6

Before You Divorce

Guest: Bryce Hopson

Between Two Worlds: The Inner Lives of Children of Divorce by Elizabeth Marquardt

What about the idea of “sticking together for the sake of the children” - read Between Two Worlds and at least consider the realities that divorce has on the lives of children - which is different than the impact on the lives of the husband and wife.

Bryce Hopson’s Three Points to Address:

1. Pride - pride is the only poison that is good for you when swallowed. Pride is a killer of relationships and commitment. Sin blinds us to the truth that we need to address.
2. Truth - so important to build good community, individuals who are able to speak truth and point out your “blind spots.” Constructive criticism is vital for your journey - people who are able to point out areas that need attention and improvement. Get plugged in to a good church - look for an older, godly, spiritually-mature man to mentor/disciple you.
3. Patience - change happens, you need to work to weather the storms of life - there will be times of trial and seasons of calm - your “marriage should outlast your love” - don’t let feelings be your guide rails in life - let truth be your guide! Having trouble - get counseling to help you address various issues in your life and relationships.

 

Importance of Reading Good Books

Guest: Fred Villa - RE/MAX real estate agent

Good books can be used for education, instruction, inspiration, etc…

What’s your goal for reading for 2022?

One book a month = 12/year

Reading and listening to a book are both acceptable ways of digesting books. I will often listen to longer fiction books, like Anna Karenina - great way to digest the longer stories that you want to read. I will use Audible.com and I’ll also get CDs or Playaways from my local public library and listen to those.

Books mentioned:

Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy

Bonhoeffer by Eric Metaxas

Soldier, Statesman, Peacemaker: Leadership Lessons from George C. Marshall by Jack Uldrich

What’s So Amazing About Grace, The Bible Jesus Read, The Jesus I Never Knew, Church Why Bother, Prayer - all by Phillip Yancey

Christianity for People Who Aren’t Christians by James Emery White (read most of this books)

Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett

Joel Rosenberg books

The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien

Death Comes for the Archbishop by Willa Cather

Divine Conspiracy and Life without Lack by Dallas Willard

The Humiliation of the Word by Jacques Ellul

Great place to find books:

Half Price Books

Christianbook.com

Monergism.com

Categories to select books from to diversify your reading:

1. Biblical Literacy - not just reading your Bible, but resources that help you understand God’s Word even more
2. Cultural Awareness - how to think critically about issues of our day
3. Family & Relationships - looking to be a better husband, father, son, etc…
4. Spiritual Disciplines - the practice of your faith (your orthopraxy)
5. Passion & Devotion - biographies, books that inspire and encourage

If you’re looking for some book recommendations, email me at info@training4manhood.com and I’d be glad to send along some ideas.

Dallas Christian College - Fred Villa history course