Training4Manhood

A Healthy and Helpful Perspective on Marriage

Guest: Grayson Frank

 

What is your definition of “marriage” - what’s the relationship intended for, why is it important, what should you be doing to work on your marriage? God’s definition of marriage is significantly different than the world’s, so be careful when you fall into the trap thinking about the purpose of marriage and you end up using a different definition and standard than God’s intent for the relationship that He designed!

 

The marriage relationship exposes the self-centered nature of each individual. Marriage is the anvil upon which God shapes you into the image of His Son. Powerful imagery.

 

Try to keep your expectations in line with reality - the difference between the two is the amount of frustration and anxiety that you’ll experience in life!

 

The only thing that can truly “fill” the void in your heart is God Himself. If you expect a person to “complete” you or “make you happy,” you’re going to be disappointed.

 

4 “A’s” of Divorce (things to guard against):

• Abuse
• Adultery
• Abandonment
• Apathy

Whatever you have leftover from the “work day” is what you take home and give to your wife and family - is that sufficient to sustain a healthy marriage relationship?

 

Is your wife “better” after being with you?

 

Saying that “my wife doesn’t make me happy” is asking the wrong question - you should be asking, “Do I make my wife happy?”

 

“Go to work, work hard. Go home, work hard. Go to bed tired.” Josh Smith, T4M episode.

 

When your marriage is bad, it’s like a black hole sucking the life out of everyone around you. When your marriage is good, it’s like a tree providing security and fruit for others.

 

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

Breaking the Painful Patterns of Your Past

Guest: Tyler Amburn

 

Tyler - alcoholics can tend to be emotionally immature. Something happens in their life that in some sense stunts their emotional growth and alcohol becomes their emotional coping mechanism.

 

Tyler - had the accountability, but as Jesus said in Matthew 26:41, “The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.” There has to be a power greater than yourself that you can rely on in times of weakness - AA talks about that “Higher Power” and we know that His name is Jesus!

 

Shoutout to Madison Michener with the Amarillo Livestock Auction for sharing the truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ!

 

Every man needs another man…or a few of them…to mentor/disciple them in the faith and in life. Tyler’s list of older men include his grandfather (Pawpaw), Madison Michener, and J.D. Ferguson - who are the men in your life speaking truth into your life and calling you up to the man that God has created you to be?!

 

Tyler - wish I could go back and tell myself about the importance and power of forgiveness, letting go of past hurts and pains, and letting God heal those wounds.

 

Great resources to help you wrestle with those personal hurts in your life:

 

When People Are Big and God is Small: Overcoming Peer Pressure, Codependency, and the Fear of Man by Edward Welch

 

The Bait of Satan: Living Free from the Deadly Trap of Offense by John Bevere

 

When you get to the point that you’re ready to forgive and release, your obedience is all that is necessary for your healing - the other person may not respond by admitting their fault or asking for forgiveness from you - Tyler, “it’s all about keeping your side of the street clean” - as Christians we know that God is the one who has cleaned our side of the street with His grace and we can extend that same grace and forgiveness to others, whether they “deserve” it or not!

 

Tyler - my biggest times of growth are when I’m surrounded by Godly men who can speak life and truth into my life - “get into their hip pocket” and “drop the pride.”

 

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

How Can I Be a Godly Success?

Guest: Dr. Connor Bales

 

Psalm 119:9-16

 

How can a young man keep his way pure (unstained, on track, moving toward success without hindrance)?

1. By guarding it according to your word. You need to filter everything through the lens of the Word of God - your life, relationships, emotions, attitudes, career, etc.
2. Go “ALL IN” with God. “With my whole heart I seek you.” A life with God through Christ is worth going “all in” for - giving your all to Him and letting Him guide and direct your steps. When we “bet” our lives on anything less than Jesus, we lose.
3. Study and learn God’s Word. “I have stored up your word in my heart, that I might not sin against you.”
4. Stay teachable (coachable). “Blessed are you, O Lord; teach me your statutes.” No greater source we can learn from than God’s Word.
5. Speak God’s truth. “With my lips I declare all the rules of your mouth.” Men speak truth. Period. Dangerous statement is “I think that…” - better statement is “God’s Word says this…”
6. Find your greatest joy in Jesus. “In the way of your testimonies I delight, as much as in all riches.” God is your transcendent source of joy and an “explosive happiness.” Do not look for your identity and joy in your accomplishments.
7. Give your thought life to God. “I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways.” What thoughts are you letting roll around in your mind? Social media is designed so that you don’t spend time thinking about one thing deeply.
8. Define genuine joy, seek after it, and don’t forget it when you get there. “I will delight in your statutes; I will not forget your word.” If Jesus is your joy, then seek after Him - what are the things that “give you more Jesus”? What is truly important to you - write it down, tell it to others (importance of community - not meant to be a reservoir, but a river of God’s blessings).

 

If your life is successful by the world’s standards, but not by God’s…your life is an eternal failure.

 

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

Questions You Should Be Asking

Guest: Michael Craven

 

Colson Fellows: Gain Wisdom, Live Faithfully, Act Courageously.

 

Alasdair MacIntyre - After Virtue: A Study in Moral Theory - “Before I can answer the question what am I to do, I must first answer the prior question what story or stories do I find myself a part.”

 

The “larger” picture in which you are a part of: Creation, Fall, Redemption, Restoration

 

4 Questions You Should Be Asking:

1. What is good in this world that I can preserve, protect, and promote?
2. What is missing in this world that I can innovate, create, or design?
3. What is evil in this world that I must stand against?
4. What is broken in this world that I can restore?

 

What is good in this world that I can preserve, protect, and promote? Marriage. Where do I start? With your own marriage!

 

What is evil that I can stand against? There are “larger” evils like abortion, but don’t forget about those “smaller” sins in your own life - what about gossip, gluttony, rudeness, etc.

 

What is broken in this world that I can restore? Without a biblical worldview, you won’t be able to see and understand how the world is supposed to function so you’ll miss those things that aren’t performing well or are broken and need to be fixed.

Ideas have consequences. Bad ideas have victims.

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

Why Are You So Angry?

Guest: Michael Perron

 

When we agree with a “delusional idea,” we can get frustrated and angry. The “spirit of stupid” can jump on us and dumb things happen.

 

Where does this start? The idea that men feel “displaced” - they feel frustrated by pursuing something that isn’t significant or meaningful - the “world system” or the proverbial “rat race” isn’t meant to fulfill your deepest longings and desires.

 

Displacement leads to futility…like swabbing the decks on the Titanic! Work was intended to give man significance if done with an eternal perspective, as working for the Lord and not for man (Colossians 3:23). Hard work isn’t the problem, hard work that depletes your spirit and energy returning to you only temporary things (like money) will result, ultimately, in frustration.

 

Men - you can “recalibrate” - you can get out of the rat race and move in a different direction. But you have to stop and ask the important questions that address the foundation upon which you’re building your life and legacy. Moving in a different direction will feel foreign and the decision will be difficult, but it’s worth it in the end!

 

Anger isn’t always violence, volume, or venom, sometimes anger is passivity…the “cold shoulder” or the silent treatment.

 

What is the solution?

1. Find your correct identity as a creation of God meant for a meaningful and significant relationship with Him, made possible through the loving sacrifice of His only begotten Son Jesus!
2. Find a mentor, an older man whose life you want to emulate - and spend time with him, ask him questions about how to navigate life!
3. Stop looking at the world system to give you what only God can provide - peace, love, fulfillment, meaning, significance, purpose…if you’re a fig tree, start producing figs.

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

The Ultimate Gift, Session 4

Guests: Jordan Whicker, Ethan Severin, Cole Travis

 

The Ultimate Gift is a fictional story about the journey of a young man named Jason Stevens who is the spoiled, rotten grand-nephew of Red Stevens, who leaves a series of “gifts” for Jason to learn, under the guidance and tutelage of his attorney friend Theodore J. Hamilton. Each chapter is a new “gift” that Jason must learn - and, as a young man, you need to learn as well.

 

The Gift of Gratitude

“I have often found it ironic that the people in this world who have the most to be thankful for are often the least thankful, and somehow the people who have virtually nothing, many times live lives full of gratitude.”

 

GK Chesterton quote:

“Among the rich you will never find a really generous man even by accident. They may give their money away, but they will never give themselves away; they are egotistic, secretive, dry as old bones. To be smart enough to get all that money you must be dull enough to want it.”

 

“The legacy of the Golden list” - those ten things that you are truly thankful for in your life…Jason’s list: his health, his home,his friends

 

Book recommendations:

The Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges

Play the Man by Mark Batterson

 

The Gift of a Day

“When you face your own mortality, you contemplate how much of life you have lived versus how much you have left. It is like the sand slipping through an hourglass. I know that at some point I will have the last day of my life. I have been thinking about how I would want to live that day or what I would do if I had just one day left to live.”

• The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch…

“But after much thought, I have come to realize that my perfect day would be filled with the best of the simple things.”

 

Walk slowly - the most important person is the one right in front of you.

 

The Gift of Love

Love is a treasure for which we can never pay. The only way to keep it is to give it away.

 

“Love is a misused and overused term in our society. It is applied to any number of frivolous things and pursuits; but the love I am talking about in the gift of love is the goodness that comes only from God.”

 

“When we truly love others, our love makes each one of us a different person, and it makes each one we love a different person too.”

 

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

The Castle Doesn’t Make the King

Guest: Michael Fechner and Ty Robinson

Your Life…Well Spent by Russ Crosson

Once we understand that God is more concerned about the eternal than the temporal, we face some unique challenges in the financial area. In the next few chapters we will look at the difference between PROSPERITY - the accumulation of goods on this earth - and POSTERITY - the heritage we leave in the generations that come after us.

In order for a builder to build a foundation, you have to be present - if you want to build a solid foundation for your family, as the husband and father, you have to be present at home. The most strategic time in the lives of our children is their first ten years…what are you doing during that important time in the life of your family?

Only change vocations to better fulfill your purpose and maximize your time flexibility, not to make more money.

Measure wealth not by the things you have, but by the things you have for which you would not take money.

As Albert Einstein once commented, “Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.” Money isn’t bad, but finding balance between time and money is crucial.

Greatest financial investment - your marriage!!! Most damaging financial decline for your net worth is generally divorce. Make sure you are working on your marriage.

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

The Ultimate Gift, Session 3

Guests: Jordan Whicker, Ethan Severin, Cole Travis

 

The Ultimate Gift is a fictional story about the journey of a young man named Jason Stevens who is the spoiled, rotten grand-nephew of Red Stevens, who leaves a series of “gifts” for Jason to learn, under the guidance and tutelage of his attorney friend Theodore J. Hamilton. Each chapter is a new “gift” that Jason must learn - and, as a young man, you need to learn as well.

 

The Gift of Laughter

“It [the gift of laughter] is the ability to look at yourself, your problems, and life in general, and just laugh. Many people live unhappy lives because they take things too seriously.”

 

“Comparison is the thief of joy,” is attributed to President Theodore Roosevelt and several others - and it is a great warning that unhealthy comparison to others can rob you of joy with what you have!

 

Laughter can be infectious, but so can negativity!

 

God has an incredible sense of humor - where do you think your sense of humor came from??? Check out the sense of humor displayed by Jesus in the series The Chosen - and read the Bible for yourself to read about it from the original source!

 

Let’s not laugh at things that God is crying about…sin isn’t funny, it’s destructive.

 

The Gift of Dreams

“Dreams are the essence of life–not as it is, but as it can be.”

 

For a Christian, dreams are the essence of life with God at the center - ripe with the potential that with God all things are possible!

 

“Jason, this month, I want you to begin experiencing the gift of dreams. Assume everything is possible. Make a list of all the things you would like to do and be and have in your life. Then begin to prioritize that list as you discover the ones that generate the most passion in your soul.”

• I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength…Phil 4:13
• We should all practice this concept - God, what do YOU want me to do, how should I be spending the life that God has given me for HIS glory and purpose?

The Gift of Giving

“Conventional wisdom would say that the less you give, the more you have. The converse is true. The more you give, the more you have. Abundance creates the ability to give; giving creates more abundance.”

 

Giving can mean so much more than money - we all have time, talents, and treasure. The giving of money is only one aspect of what it means to give of yourself.  Maybe God is asking you to give the one of these that is the most difficult for you!

 

The Bible says a lot about money, most of it is a warning not to let money become a god or idol in your life. Giving is a direct indication about our worship.

What are you NOT willing to give to the Lord?

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

You Can be a Powerful Presence and Bring Positive Energy

Guest: Chas Briscoe

Chas turned a football career-ending injury into a new path of bodybuilding, weight training, coaching, and teaching. His humility and positive energy are legendary among those who have been blessed to spend any time in his presence!

Wise Words from Chas:

• You can be a powerful presence and bring positive energy to every situation!
• You coach every day - you’re coaching a person in every interaction and you have the opportunity to make a great impact in the lives of others.
• Every person that has excelled has had challenging days.
• Life is full of baby steps, life is a process, the good things in life take time.
• Even though you’re young, carry yourself with maturity and integrity - consider Psalm 144:12.
• Respect is earned, not given. Earn it.
• Greatest success stories are of guys that started from nothing, had to overcome significant obstacles - those who have overcome are usually those who are willing to help others - PUSH should stand for Promptly Usher Someone Higher!
• Let young people learn from their mistakes.
• Check out some Zig Ziglar books and statements - most of what he taught is in the Book of Proverbs!
• I don’t compete against others….I complete others!
• I don’t want to enable you…I want to empower you!
• Men need to share their emotions - speak up when you’re hurting, get help!

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.

The Ultimate Gift, Session 2

Guests: Jordan Whicker, Ethan Severin, Cole Travis

 

The Ultimate Gift is a fictional story about the journey of a young man named Jason Stevens who is the spoiled, rotten grand-nephew of Red Stevens, who leaves a series of “gifts” for Jason to learn, under the guidance and tutelage of his attorney friend Theodore J. Hamilton. Each chapter is a new “gift” that Jason must learn - and, as a young man, you need to learn as well.

 

The Gift of Learning

Education is a lifelong journey whose destination expands as you travel.

“The only thing I can honestly say that I know now that I didn’t know when we left here four weeks ago is that the desire and hunger for education is the key to real learning.”

It takes a lot of humility to be a lifelong learner! Learning also takes hard work - learning doesn’t just happen, you have to make plans to learn!!!

The greatest insult is to tell someone that you have nothing to learn from them! Find people you want to learn something from, take them to coffee, and ask them good questions!

 

The Gift of Problems

“If we are not allowed to deal with small problems, we will be destroyed by slightly larger ones.”

The Coddling of the American Mind by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt - prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child…good reminder!

When we can learn from our own problems, we begin to deal with life. When we can learn from other people’s problems, we begin to master life. What life lessons have you learned from watching others?

The world needs more Jesus…YOU have an opportunity to bring the Light of the World to address the problems in the world!

 

The Gift of Family

Jason went to the Red Stevens Home for Boys to see the value of family from those who look like they don’t have family.

 

It’s Better to Build Boys Than to Mend Men by C. Truett Cathy…the founder of Chick-fil-A was incredibly involved in the lives of young men, especially those without a family.

 

Family is not as much about being related by blood as it is about relating through love. If you don’t have a biological “family,” you can develop and invest in a spiritual family!

 

T4M guys - just a reminder that Training4Manhood is a non-profit, 501(c)(3) ministry and you can make donations either via Zelle (info@training4manhood.com) or by visiting the Training4Manhood website.

Huge thank you to Jared Wood for allowing T4M to use his music in our intro and outro selections.